He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
