When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
