And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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