yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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