also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
