dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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