if you like me you must not know who I am
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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