What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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