I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
