I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
