I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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