At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
