So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
