oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
