ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
