If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I love having hate sex.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
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