we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
