I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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