Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
