Apparently you make a good broom.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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