You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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