Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
try to milk me bitch
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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