Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
