Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
