she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
