I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
