They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
