im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
