just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
there is glitter all over my balls
I'm always down for nudity.
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