Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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