At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
