where does the pee come out of this thing
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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