turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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