it was like having sex with a tree stump
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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