New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
