Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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