Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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