I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize