I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
