Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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