So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
