you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
