Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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