My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
