well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
