i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
