we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
