so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Drake has all the answers
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
