i permit you to call me
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
