successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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